The Spectrum and me

Most of the time because I have lived in so many different cultures and subcultures and because of unfixable situations and unknown depths of pain in the people I have worked with, I feel myself becoming autistic. I don't know anymore what is the most appropriate social response unless it is of the spirit realm and most people are not interested in that. I go to gatherings and look for connections (#1 on my gallup strengthsfinder test) but I don't fit into social patterns that call for local awareness. I wore winter clothes to a summer reunion because I lived in L.A. so many years in neighborhoods that didn't have winter and summer clothes where it didn't matter. My skin is not holding melanin. I look bleached and I am, with no protection and now that the white sun is harsh beyond words my sensory overload happens fast. All I can liken it to is the spectrum. Vygotsky talked about it in the MIT book Thought and Language, Page 12. "Directed thought is social. As it develops it is increasingly influenced by the laws of experience. Autistic thought is subconscious". That is the realm I work in in hypnosis. The Subconscious. My experiences as I said above, are from so many cultures that each have different laws, that I find myself defaulting to the realm of the subconscious. That is where you will find me. There is no fakery there. There is only the authentic me.